A Prince Reads Popular Books
by fernazab
Summary: Yes, we jumped on the bandwagon and made Arthur read. As July 2013 this story is on hiatus for 18 months.
1. Pride and Prejudice part1

**_You might remember that Jissai, PoisoningPigeonsinthePark, and Kitty O each wrote a story where Arthur is forced to read._ We thought it was an excellent idea, so we randomly walked over to our bookshelf and randomly chose the book we wanted. _(Translation: We cheated.)_**

**As usual, we don't own Merlin.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>On his hands and knees, rag in hand, Merlin scrubbed at the cold stone floor. As he was thus the door swung open. In stormed Arthur. The prince was carrying two books and an extremely irate expression. Merlin's heart sunk. He didn't want to deal with a grumpy Arthur right now.<p>

When the prince's eyes landed on Merlin, the warlock felt his heart sink further. Arthur's face had become a mask of mischief.

"_Mer_lin," Arthur said, trying and failing to sound casual.

Merlin winced. "Yes, sire," he responded as respectfully as possible, hoping to ward off whatever was brewing in the prat's mind.

"Gwen is making me read this." Arthur held up one of the books he had been carrying.

Remembering that he was in danger of mischief, Merlin fought the urge to laugh. However, before he could stop himself, these words fell out of his mouth:

"Have fun, sire."

The servant instantly regretted his words. His master's face became astonishingly more impish. Merlin hadn't known that was even possible.

"You're going to read it too," Arthur announced as he held up the other, identical book.

"No," Merlin snapped commandingly.

"I give the orders." Arthur's eyes gleamed maniacally. "If I have to read it, you have to read it."

"The stables. I need to muck out the stables!"

Merlin bolted for the door. But before he could touch the handle, he found himself being dragged away from said door.

"You've got it," Arthur said cheerily. He then shoved his servant into a chair and slammed one of the books onto the table.

"No," Merlin protested, "Gwen never said I had to."

"Oh, but I did."

"No."

"Read."

Merlin grimaced at the words that were delicately stretched across the book's cover. Merlin knew that—if they could—the letters would also be grimacing back at him. "Pride and Prejudice" was never meant to be read by a man.

Merlin reluctantly opened the front cover and flipped past the introduction and to the first page of story. He pretended to read. Merlin was willing to put up with a lot of trash, but he certainly wasn't going to let the prat emasculate him.

Satisfied that his servant was submitting to torment, Arthur flopped onto his bed. He proceeded to dutifully read.

Having scanned the first page, Merlin turned to the next page. He had caught something about a man with a funny name, Bingley. A husband and wife, the Bennets, were discussing him. Something about marriage and beauty. In the unlikely event that Arthur quizzed him, Merlin could satisfy the prat with a few key names.

Suddenly, Arthur shouted.

"That is so true!"

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><p><strong>Hehe, this actually has a SLIGHT plot to it. So, what made Arthur yell? <em>I know! Pick me! Pick me!<em>**

**Please review.**


	2. Pride and Prejudice part2

**We had intended on posting this almost immediately after the previous chapter. _Obviously, that didn't happen._ So, to make up for it, we're posting two chapters at once.**

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><p>Merlin's head snapped out of his hand. "What?" Merlin asked, confused at Arthur's sudden outburst.<p>

"The opening statement, _Mer_lin," Arthur said as though it explained everything.

Of course, Merlin hadn't actually read the opening statement like he was _supposed_ to. Arthur must be taking this more seriously than Merlin thought he would. Well, Merlin would read a bit more thoroughly in order to appease the prat. But not much more thoroughly. Sighing, Merlin flipped back to the first page. He read the beginning:

_It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife._

"I don't see what you're getting excited about. I'm just as much in want of a wife as you are," Merlin pointed out.

"Keep reading," Arthur prodded.

_However little known the feelings or views of such a man be on first entering a neighborhood, this is so fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful property of someone or other of their daughters._

Merlin looked at Arthur. _Was Arthur serious?_ The servant shook his head as he turned back away.

Arthur rolled his eyes in retaliation. "You wouldn't understand, Merlin. You've never had anyone try to thrust their daughter on you."

"Doesn't sound so bad."

"_Mer_lin," Arthur sounded clearly unamused.

"Yes?" Merlin smiled, awaiting the inevitable rude shushing.

"Shut up."

Arthur flopped back onto his bed. The prince resumed reading; the servant resumed skimming. Hour after tedious hour passed.

Occasionally, Arthur would make some comment defending some "Mr. Darcy." Merlin had noticed the name while scanning, but he didn't care. Frankly, Merlin wished Arthur would quit pretending to like the book. It was disturbing. The prince doing way too good of a job. If Arthur thought he could fool Merlin into thinking he genuinely enjoyed this book... Well, he had another thing coming. Why didn't he just save all the acting for Gwen?

After several hours, Merlin finally decided he had had enough of this nonsense. The event of staring at that book and listening to Arthur's random comments had to end. Now. Merlin pushed his seat backward to escape the table. As he tried to creep away, Arthur's voice rang out.

"_Mer_lin! Get back in that chair. I know you're not done reading."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>


	3. Twilight

********Warning: If you are such an ardent admirer of Twilight that you believe it shouldn't be mocked in any form or fashion, then you might want to skip this chapter.**

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><p>Arthur, Merlin, Elyan, Gwaine, Percival, and Lancelot all sat huddled together on the floor in Arthur's chambers. They weren't hiding. They weren't staving off some fierce winter (that never occurs in Camelot anyway). They weren't even having a deep, private conversation.<p>

They were reading. No, not business or reports or research. Actually, yes, this book was research of a sort. They were reading _Twilight._

"Gwaine, are you sure that women like this?" Arthur asked for the umpteenth time. He was beginning to get fed up with this story. Scratch that. He had been fed up ever since somewhere between chapter one and chapter two.

"There was these really pretty girls that said all men should be like Edward," Gwaine replied.

"I'm not sure this is worth it," Elyan chimed in. "I don't want to be like Edward."

"Well, he certainly doesn't have my dashing good looks," Gwaine noted.

Everyone stared at Gwaine.

"Gwaine, you're not very good looking," Elyan corrected.

"You just wish you had my admirers."

"Your imaginary ones?"

"In any case," Gwaine, determined not to be undermined, continued, "I'm better looking than Edward!"

"That's not hard," Arthur interjected, "seeing as Edward's a corpse."

"How about we just finish this tale, Arthur," Percival spoke up to keep the peace. And because, frankly, the sooner they finished this story, the better.

"Alright," Arthur grimaced. "Merlin, I think it's your turn to read."

"It's been my 'turn' for the last three chapters," Merlin complained.

"Just read."

Merlin grudgingly complied. As he read, he resisted the urge to make random gagging noises. He was getting sick and tired of reading a physical description of Edward every other minute.

"Merlin," Arthur interrupted, "if another one of those Bella-thinks-Edward-looks-amazing paragraphs show up again, skip it. Just skip it."

"I have a better idea!" Gwaine exclaimed.

"Better than skipping half the book?" Arthur, Merlin, and Elyan said in unison.

"I propose a drinking game. Every time Edward's looks are mentioned, we take a swig."

Without waiting for anyone's reaction to the idea, Gwaine bounced to his feet. At that moment, a knocked sounded on the door.

"Arthur?" they heard Gwen say uncertainly.

Right then, Arthur remembered that he had asked her to visit him. He closed his eyes. He could kick himself for forgetting about that and, therefore, starting a _Twilight_-reading party in his chambers. If it could be called a party.

The door slid open as Gwen said, "Arthur," again. None of the men were reacting. Something about the shock of realizing that they were huddled around _Twilight_ was delaying their reaction capabilities.

Merlin regained control of himself first. In shame, he quickly tried to hide the book behind his back. Lancelot caught his arm though. It took a moment for Merlin to understand Lancelot's action and meaningful look. _Oh. Since Gwen's a girl, seeing us with _Twilight _is a __good__ thing._

Gwen stepped forward. She opened her mouth, and then closed it. She wasn't sure what was the best way to approach the topic of why the men (except Gwaine, who was standing) were in a tight ball on the floor.

"Guinevere!" Arthur perked up. He smiled uncomfortably.

"Should I come back later?" Gwen asked, pointing behind herself at the door.

"No, uh..." Arthur attempted to stand, but couldn't as he was squished between Merlin and Percival.

"Are you reading _Twilight_?" Gwen cocked her head to get a better look at the book in Merlin's hands.

"Yes," Lancelot responded immediately, "It is very... interesting."

In an instant, five elbows shot out at Lancelot. Gwaine, who couldn't easily reach Lancelot's midsection, happened to knock Lancelot's head.

_Why? _Arthur thought. _Why did you have to use the most obvious diplomatic "I hate it"? Why?_

Ignoring the poorly concealed hints, Gwen asked, "Why?"

"Women think men should all be like Edward," Gwaine said. "But I don't know why when I'm obviously superior to him."

"It's not hard to be better than Edward," Gwen replied scathingly. "Don't... actually, I don't care what the rest of you do. Arthur, promise me that you'll never try to be like Edward."

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><p><strong>*shifts uncomfortably* So, yeah, we don't like <span>Twilight<span>. (Don't hurt us.) And we still hate Lancelot, even though (SPOILER ALERT!) he died a hero. (Again, don't hurt us.)**

**But please do still leave a review :)**


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